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I’m so glad last week’s newsletter resonated with so many of you and that you found the the car seat metaphor helpful! (Here’s a link to last week’s newsletter if you missed it. ) So let’s keep exploring how those uncomfortable feelings alert us to what’s missing and what’s needed— so you can live more fully. I recently re-read Edith Wharton’s The House of Mirth and there’s a scene that beautifully captures what we’ve been talking about. Lily, the main character, has a complicated friendship with Seldon. She feels that she’s nothing more than a decorative ornament shaped by high society— and yet she longs to be part of that world as much as she longs to be independent. She can’t have both. At one point, she asks Seldon how he defines success. He replies “personal freedom.” Then, later on he expands upon that by saying: “To keep a kind of republic of the spirit—that's what I call success.” Lily responds by saying, “… There was no one, I mean, to tell me about the republic of the spirit." And then comes this exchange … "There never is—it's a country one has to find the way to one's self." "But I should never have found my way there if you hadn't told me." "Ah, there are sign-posts—but one has to know how to read them."
Exactly! So often the signposts are the very things we want to ignore, fix, dial down and push away because they’re uncomfortable. ✨ We mistake those signposts as something in our way… some kind of obstacle. But those signposts are leading you back to yourself; they’re letting you know something is missing AND something is needed, so you can live more fully and be more authentically you. You might even notice something calling for your attention — an always-on-edge-anxiety, a parade of what-if worries, a simmering resentment, deep exhaustion, a heavy sadness, or something else. And, if it feels like too much to even look in that that direction — let alone head in that direction — great noticing! That’s important information. That “this might be too much” feeling is something I help my clients pay close attention to as we work together. If a client wants to turn toward something difficult but is already feeling overwhelmed by reactions, emotions, or sensations at the mere possibility of doing so, then we don’t go there …. yet. We spend time with what’s already coming up and here until it feels safe enough to take another step in that direction. This is what I mean when I say I follow your body’s process and respect its pace. I may offer gentle invitations like, “You might sense if it’s okay to be with this.” And, if there’s any kind of no, hesitation or feeling unsure, then that takes priority. That’s what needs our company first. Safety is paramount. Respecting what I call your body’s knowing no guides the way. We don’t push past it, because doing so would only create more inner tension and angst. This process of change feels good and, if at any point it doesn’t, then that let’s us know we’re moving ahead of your body’s pace. So, we back up. Going slow is the new fast. Yes, you want change. Yes, you want to feel differently. But, we can’t get there by pushing, forcing and rushing. If you’d like company as you turn toward your own signposts, I’d love to support you. Click below schedule a session. We’ll follow your body’s pace and wisdom— no pushing, forcing, or white-knuckling. I’ll offer gentle guidance and support, so you can experience more ease and find your way forward from within. And if you’re feeling unsure about booking a session, let’s honor and celebrate that inner knowing! 🥳 You’re welcome to book a free, no-obligation chat with me. We can chat about what you’re struggling with and how I can support you.
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